This is the basic premise of this blog: I lie. A lot. And I've decided to write down every lie I tell, every lie I've told, as I think of them, or as I say them, or as I remember them.

You're welcome to submit your own lie. Tell me the lie, tell me the turth, and tell my a little bit about the lie. Why you told it. What you were thinking as you told it, if you were caught.

I'm not often caught, myself. I've been at it too long.

2nd February 2011

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Lie #10

Lie: I’m not a virgin anymore.

Truth: I want you to fuck off and stop asking me questions.

I don’t understand what it a guy’s obsession with a girls sexuality/sexual past.  Especially when they profess “no interest.” Well, that’s okay, I don’t particularly want to screw you either, but when have I ever asked how many partners you’ve had?  when have I cared, even when you felt it was your duty to inform me that you went “a little wild” in high school.

I feel no sense of accomplishment telling you this.  I don’t care if you believe me or not.  All I want is for you and your buddy boys to leave me alone.  If there’s one thing I despise about modernization, it’s people thinking that all of the sudden certain topics are for general conversation.  My sex life is mine.  I am not ashamed of it, but neither do I consider it small talk.  I never will.

And don’t try to tell me, it’s a guy thing.  It’s not a guy thing.  It’s an animal thing.  You have a need to be the most dominant, the most powerful, the most wanted, and you’re going about it the only way you know how.  If you were truly dominant, you would fell no need to strut about.

So please, if you respect me, as you say you do, stop telling me you’re trying to make me comfortable with myself.  I am comfortable with myself.  I would make out with a girl if I was so inclined.  I would make out with a guy.  But for now, at the end of the day, I’m going home alone.  And that doesn’t bother me at all.

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