Lie: “We raise butterflies in our attic.”
Truth: You really need me to tell you the truth of that? Wow. I was in first grade when I told that one. Significant because it’s the earliest lie I remember besides telling my parents I cleaned my room. I’ve always lied about that one.
I told this lie because we had just released some butterflies we had been raising in the classroom, and a few came and landed on me instead of flying off. The teacher said they must be attracted to the colors on my shirt, which was probably true. A few weeks later, and I don’t remember what was going on, or what we were doing, but I told a few of my friends that my mom raised butterflies.
They believed me. First graders are idiots, myself included. I got a few seconds of gratification, then everybody forgot about because we went out to recess.
It has to be the stupidest lie I’ve ever told. The fucking stupidest. And I can’t forget it.